Hercules da Vinci /
July 22nd, 2014
Re: Progress Report for "Information on Hercules da Vinci"
Dear Mr. Dan Allison,
After an admittedly less-than-extensive amount of inquiry, my research team and I have found the subject of your information request to be a rather surly individual ... yet, with somewhat of a lovable manner about him. However, Hercules da Vinci is most uncooperative when it comes to talking about his personal life. Per your request for a progress report, below is the present state of our research team's initial inquiry:
Very little is known, and few have seen the highly eccentric reclusive artist; consequently, there is extensive hearsay (along with quite a few rumors) floating around out there regarding his upbringing, education, and background history - all of which he has refuted as "slanderous lies!" Nonetheless, we find it accurate to state that Mr. da Vinci is a man with very few inhibitions. Some claim to have seen him wandering the streets of east Austin Texas in the wee hours of the morning, others have spotted him sitting on the banks of Austin's Town Lake, as he seems to call nowhere home in particular.
Purportedly, Hercules da Vinci was once asked to explain the origins of his audacious name, and his riposte was to casually stroll over to a nearby pick-up truck and lift its front end off of the ground - with his teeth! We find this very hard to believe. Another rumor, reported by a very credible blogger, proclaims that Hercules da Vinci is the product of medical science's first successful human cloning endeavor. Once again, we find this preposterous and extremely unlikely, but it is intriguing to speculate...
Because so much of what is "known" about Mr. da Vinci is simply hearsay or rumor, my research team and I feel it is imperative that we strictly adhere to the facts: His maternal grandfather's family name is Gentilini, that we do know with certainty.
Thank you for your inquiry, Mr Allison. We will get back with you as soon as we receive verification on some of the other outlandish rumors that are floating around out there.
Lester Dudley Odom